Happy Friday,
The power of attraction between them had quadrupled since they’d last met and they escaped the restaurant separately as discreetly as The Ivy’s entrance, circled by paparazzi, would permit. A text message and two black cab rides later, they were reunited in his flat, snogging like hormones-driven teenagers, carelessly tearing off articles of clothing, groping blindingly at every bit of revealed skin. The bed groaned, pleaded, begged for mercy but none was given. It had been way too long.
I am torn. On one hand, look at this paragraph: it’s all had been and was verb. But, and this trumps everything, it reads well. The touch of passive verbs makes it seem as if the attraction between the couple has taken them over and they’re no longer in control. It reads fast.
It’s also a very nicely done time summary. Look, the couple is moved from the restaraunt to the apartment, from dinner through sex and we’re clued in.
It works. Carry one.
PS. I’d change hormones-driven to hormon-driven.
