One of the earliest critiques I have gotten on OWW was from a published writer who said that my plot was good and my worldbuilding was good, but I had one giant issue that would prevent me from getting published unless I did something about it.
My characters were flat.
It was a fair criticism. My characters were flat. Even now the character work is probably my weakest point and I spend a lot of time on it.
Here is a bit of Cerise. (I have looked at the counter some more. Aaaa!)
They won the first round. …. was dead. The court ruled in favor of the family. They had the right to retrieve grandfather’s house. Now they just had to do it.
She should’ve been happy. Instead, she felt empty and worn-out to the core, as if her body had become a threadbare rag hanging off her bones. She was so weary. She wanted off her horse. She wanted to curl up somewhere, dark and quiet. And most of all she wanted her mother.
Cerise sighed. It was a ridiculous urge. She was twenty four years old. A grown adult by all means. If things had gone differently, she would’ve been married and had children of her own by now. But no matter how she tried to rationalize herself away from it, she wanted her mother with a desperation of a child left alone in the dark. The need was so basic and strong, she almost cried.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had cried. It had to be years.
The logical part of her knew that winning the hearing was only the first step on a long road. For the past ten days she had a clear goal: find uncle Hugh, get documents, return in time for the hearing. She lived and breathed it and now it was done. She had accomplished it and inside, in the same place she wanted her mother, she felt deeply cheated because her parents failed to magically appear.
Ah, well, none of your characters feel flat anymore…
and just think, you’ll have even more people cyber stalking you with each book you publish…^^
because we all luv your wonderful mind…ohohohoho <3
Aaaaa!
Thank you most humbly for the snippet.
BTW, had Edge come out before I trapped him, by latest housemate would be named Jack instead of Lynx rufus
=A
Awwwwww Edge 2 sadness.
Nope, no flatness there. Lots of nice edginess, angst and deep emotions.
You’re not the only one who has to work doubly hard at characterization. I fight that battle every freakin’ book.
Your hard work shows. Thinking back as to why I love your writing it is the characters that I keep returning to. You have worked hard to make them real, and real they are. With positives and negatives both about them, just like everyone. Thank you so much.
wonderful snippet, ilona. it’s always great to get some insight on the characters…. and I happen to think that Cerise is NOT flat. And neither is any of your characters in the other books.
in fact, you and gordon mange to give even the side characters many layers and depth…. and that’s not easy to achieve.
Ditto cheese! NOT flat. Even your side/supporting characters have more depth than some of the heroes / heroines i’ve read. Look at derek, julie, saiman,aunt B, jim, grandma, jack, George,…. (list is endless). xxx
In my opinion, there is no way that your characters can be flat if three paragraphs of character insight can make me almost cry. You tell those critics to stuff it! Your fans love your characters and obviously they are good enough to get you published. SO THERE REVIEWER PERSON!
I don’t know about your first characters, but all the characters I’ve read about are far from being flat. I love Curran, with his alpha attitude, Kate with her ‘I want to keep everybody save and kick ass’, Derek the wonderboy, Saiman, Jack, George, Rose, Declan, William, Aunt B, Raphael. You get it.
Your characters are amazing, or I wouldn’t like your books so much.
We love your words, and your characters. That reviewer is a putzhead.
Oh, and I forgot to mention: Your blog is the funniest I’ve found and read so far (odd shots being second).
That’s probably why so many people read it…
I’m a character person. If there was flatness, I don’t see it any more. So it was time well spent.
My point is if I was going to rag on an author for boring characters, you’re nowhere near that list.
I reckon that early critic still thinks the EARTH is frikkin flat.
You guys rock.
Well they certainly aren’t flat now – your characters have – um – voluptuos(?)- personalities!
The make believe people in your books banter – and its funny! It always amazes me how writers do that.
The Kate books ooze quality and the way all of the characters are so well developed – to the extent that people will argue and speculate about what they would or wouldn’t do in forums, reminds me of the consistently good writing on, for example, Friends and how well the audience got to know the characters. Your characters are the same – they could be sitting around playing Monopoly for a whole book and we would be riveted
What I love most about your characters is that you take your time developing them in the story, no info dumping.
Your characters grow as people and open doors to their past and let us peek in. They learn from their mistakes, they bleed, and hurt, and love. And sometimes it takes a book or two to really know a character…I love that. Because knowing a person in real life takes time too.
Character development for a series is different from what it is for just one book. The formula you have now works….don’t mess with success.
Just as a sidenote, I’m typically a lurker, as in I’ve only commented a couple of times in the last 6 months. But I regularly check in on the blog at least 3 or 4 times a day. I think someone mentioned your counter might only weigh the hits, but not necessarily count who might be hitting? If that makes you feel any better?
And I’m curious (hopefully I’m not missing something obvious), but what are the numbers that have so surprised you?
Jane
P.S. Love the snippets. And the fact that you’ve internalized so many aspects of “Techniques of the Selling writer.” (Saw it on the bookshelf posts.) I use some of your snippets with my writing group to illustrate some of Swain’s excellent points. (Giving you full credit, of course!) So, thanks for them!
:hugs: Another Swam devotee. Come, you can sit by me, we’ll have tea!
Tea, maybe a sugar cookie or two (or many), and lively discussion of motivation/reaction units. Or vivid discriptors. Or Diasters.
What a lovely notion!
I havent read on the Edge yet, no money to spare this last two months
On the part you posted: I get the idea of someone that wants to be strong, and mostly sees for herself all of the time, but deep inside needs to be reaffirmed by external means (our parents usually cover that angle).
I don’t see any flatness and I believe I get a good feeling of the character being described. I am not sure if this part was posted because you were told it was flat and you wanted us to review it.
I must say that the only thing missing for me in those few paragraphs is the sense of physical location, I don’t know if she is still in court or is she is home (or where the hell she is ) which makes it difficult for my imagination to get a clear picture of her and mix it with her emotional state. Again, I don’t know if this is just a normal snippet or if you wanted some review.
My two not very important cents lol
Adriana, are you in US?
Unfortunately I am in Costa Rica Ilona. But if I can be of any help all the way here just let me know
While the writer may have been right in their critique, it was you guys who did the hard work to stop your characters from being flat. They’re far from it.
In those few paragraphs of the Edge #2 snippet, I saw a tantalising glimpse of Cerise. There are people out there who at some point in their lives just want to sit on their parent’s lap and be comforted and told everything is ok. The longing of complete trust in a person when they say that things will work out and that you don’t have to worry anymore because that someone will always be there for you and take care of you.
The simple fact that I could relate to Cerise on a personal level and feel sympathy for her longing means (to me, at least) you guys have characterisation nailed.
I have read all your books so far and one of the reasons why I want May to come soon is to be able to read your next book.
I don’t believe your characters to be flat. They are “alive” and wanting to exist.
Your hard work has paid off! Your characters have a depth to them that always leaves me satisfied.
I think I’d have to go back and ask what they actually meant by “flat” in that context. The one comment I would say is both a strength and a weakness in your characters is the lack of over physical characterisation… Uh, really, I do speak English…
Let me try again. I LOVE your characters and find that they have a lot of personal depth, and you get to see the characters evolve, and to some extent, what makes them tick.
What I see people write about on Amazon a lot, that isn’t addressed by those things I just mentioned, is the heavy physical detail some authors add – where you know the colour of every article of clothing, from socks to coat, and every dimple, pimple or rumple they might have have on their skin.
You don’t do that, and frankly, I find that just as immersive – I can be free to colour inside the lines on any detail you didn’t think was significant enough to add in, and I’m personally happy with that. But, as Amazon reviews show, that doesn’t work for everyone, and maybe that’s what they were after complaining about? Since it surely isn’t how well the characters resonate with us, just based on sales and comments here!
Shaya, I don’t like over characterization either. I hate it when someone uses every page to describe everything their characters is wearing, or how their hair looks into the sunlight. I call that common place: is like saying a beautiful woman has firm breasts and moved her hips sensually… its something 8 out of 10 books repeats somehow.
I do feel its important for authors to use general means of description so the characters come to life in your head. I was months ago gifted with a book from X author, the book was great however at the end of the book I did not even had a clear picture if there were tall, small, while, or had green eyes, or blue… all I knew was that one of the girls was blond, thats it.
It makes it very hard to imagine. Its hard to put “generic face, generic height” into different situations as you read.
Your charaters are delicious.
Ilona I am not an author, nor a critic, however I am an avid reader. I have read billions (I exagerate for effect) of books and love numerous authors, your books however are my favorite, because of your amazing charecters (imagine, you are #1 of billions). All joking aside I don’t think anyone could read your books today and say your charecters are flat!! I love your books thank you for sharing your amazing talent with us.
You know, I’ve always liked your characters. They didn’t always do what I wanted them to do (damn them!) but they were well rounded. You even add more info about the peripheral chacters here and there in subsequent books. I think your hard work is paying off.
I feel for you – I’ve had the same thing said to me and I’m working on it. You’re living proof there is hope!
I was casually browsing through your site and felt compelled to respond to this entry.
I’m not a published author, in fact I don’t write nearly enough, but I’ve read tons, and taken a creative writing class whose teacher was well-educated, and the smartest (is that a word?) person I’ve met in my life.
Your characters are not flat anymore. From what I can tell they each have a history, a belief system, morals and standards, and a separate world view, among other things. I’m very impressed with your portrayal of Kate Daniels in particular. That character embodies some issues, and some aspects, I’ve thought about, and wanted to write about for some time. I’m curious to see what you’ll do with her.
To me Kate Daniels shows some aspects of humanity I’ve noticed in people who aspire to be “strong”. In Magic Strikes you showed her repressing until when she needed to cry, she couldn’t. I’ve encountered that myself, and it’s made me think about true forms of strength and courage. I think that someone who isn’t afraid of crying, of showing weakness, of being vulnerable, or subject to their emotions might be more courageous in the true sense of the word. I also very much like what you did with the “hero” Bran in Magic Burns.
None of this is to say that I don’t have any criticism for your writing. You’ve got a long way to go to get among the greats. The flow between narrative and dialog in your Kate Daniels books, for example, is sometimes choppy. You also could improve in the area of showing instead of telling. To demonstrate instead of expounding upon your ideas in a logical way.
No worries, you’ll improve with practice, I’m sure.
But, harsh critic that I am, I still think your characters are full-bodied, though you might learn better ways to present them eventually.
I wish you all the best of luck with your writing.
Now stop fishing for compliments.
(:3 I kid, I kid.)
They’re not flat anymore! The characters are my favourite thing about the Kate series — I can’t read a book unless I adore the characters.
Am new to this, what is “OWW”?
I’ve only read the Kate Daniels series, and I’d never refer to those characters as flat. The characters remind me of a dysfunctional family in which each member (character) is a black sheep in some way, and they all have their own quirks, peeves, etc. The snippet is very insightful to the way the character feels and there’s enough description that I believe a reader can not only understand how she (the character) feels but relate even if they never felt a bone-deep need for their mother or a weariness of their soul. Doesn’t mean I like the character, but then again, I’m hateful.