There are some things men have to take seriously. It’s just the way it has to be done.
Me, mowing grass in my sandals and a sun hat: La-la-la.
Gordon, mowing grass, in old Army boots, old jeans, shades, stubble, a look of grim determination on his face and some growling music on his Ipod: Die grass. Die.
Me, doing laundry: All the dark clothes go in that load. All the light colors go in this load.
Gordon, separating laundry into piles by color with military precision: Ilona, do you have anything dirty and green?
Me, making charcoal fire, putting the charcoal into a conical pile, arranging it with tongs for optimal ventilation, soaking thoroughly, standing waaay back while carefully throwing a match: Oh that’s nice. Coals caught. Ten minutes and we’re good to go.
Gordon, building a charcoal fire:
Dump coals in a big pile. Spray some lighter fluid. Throw a match.
BOOM! Michael Bay explosion.
Me, reading a Sherrilyn Kenyon book on the deck: Are you okay, darling?
Him: Yep.
Spray. Spray.
BOOM!
Me: Do you have any eyebrows left?
Him: Yes, but they are slightly less bushy.
BOOM!
Me: Honey?!
Him, all happy: Now, that’s a fire!
I will readily concede that he is a better cook when it comes to grilling. And he builds an excellent fire. I just measure his fires by my gasps now. Today was a three-gasper.
LOL, men and explosions/fires!
I find this to be so accurate…..so very accurate.
And then there’s my husband…
Take the charcoal chimney, stuff some newspaper at the bottom, add charcoal.
Set the chimney in the grill, light newspaper.
Let fire build until charcoal is lit, dump contents into grill.
Let charcoal heat up, begin cooking.
He’s kind of a charcoal purist.
Men and lighter fluid…
Had to buy a new bottle after the Halloween bonfire. Hubby and brother-in-law took turns squirking the flames while my eight-year-old son watch in admiration. *sigh*
Why exactly are men so fascinated with fire?
It keeps the monsters, the night hunters out of the cave and away from the women and children.
Huh. I always thought men liked the colors and destructive properties of it. But, your explanation is better. *G*
ROTFL.
Heh, I wouldn’t complain about excessive sorting. At least he sorts.
It’s a *guy thing*
) Dunno why but guys & fire…the bigger the BOOM, the better 
I tried to light a grill on my own once….and only once. I lost both my eyebrows and my bangs.
I had an new makeover in a matter of seconds.
Watching guys light a bonfire with a limitless stack of wood and a five gallon jerry can of gas is also amusing
Add a roman candle to light the fire and you have our camp fire lighters. BOYS! Well in my case middle age MEN! Eeesh!!
LOL!
Woman watch man light big fire!!
Love it!
oh my god my dad does the samething every time, and he alwas burns his arm hairs off. *sigh* at 49 you think the man will learn his lesson, but nooo! thats the reason bought him a gas grill.
knight, I really like your alien. I think its my favorite one so far.
You should watch people from the lab lighting a grill… 70% ethanol, anyone?
This reminds me of the barbecue that George Goble lit with liquid oxygen barbecue back in 1995.
There wasn’t much of it left by the time he’d finished.
*sigh* proofreading.
BOILER UP! Sorry, had to! Goble did that for his Purdue research group as a bit of fun. The city of Lafayette, IN did not appreciate it. (People should have figured that this happened in the Midwest.)
I still love watching that video though, so thank you for posting it.
Blitz. *West Lafayette, IN, not Lafayette.
haha
whenever h2b is vacuuming, he has that fierce and determined look on his face, as if every cat hair or bit of dust was his enemy. 
Better not show him this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1227813/Sorry-darling-I-vacuuming-It-damage-sperm-count-The-best-excuse-men-housework.html#ixzz0Wta3WJm0
Which means loitering in the front of the refrigerator with the door open, staring at nothing is pretty much right out. I note, however, the article doesn’t say a thing about hauling out the trash or taking the dog for a walk. Ha!
Microtesla? Wow. What a cool unit of measure. All I can think of is Tesla from SANCTUARY. I wonder if the micro ones have fangs too.
I loved the one year my husband and I went to a friends house for New Year’s where they had a fire going in a little chimney thing. Well his frind found the tiki torch fluid and after throwing a bunch of it in the fire, thought it was fantastic to watch it shoot straight up out the top of the chimney. I was scared pissless thinking they were going to catch the tree -right above it- on fire. Thankfully that did not happen.
Was raised by a firefighter – fire was and is a serious matter in my family. Was not introduced to the havoc overgrown boys will wreak with a can of lighter fluid ’til my 30s when I had friends over for a bonfire. The set my frickin’ tree on fire. Good thing I was raised to always have a charged hoseline ready….
=A
LOL. My bf is the same when he cooks. I went to visit a friend who teaches forensics and got some of the “crime scene – do not cross” tape from her. When boyfriend cooked I put it across the door and sent the picture off to his mum and friends.
Don’t let me start on the lawn mowing. He ran the mower over the cable and electricuted himself trying to fix it.
Seriously, maybe Gordon is related to my ex?
Their brow furrows, a look of intense concentration, then WHOOOSH, great balls of fire.
It was always an insult to offer help. Lighter fluid belongs in the hands of men. *shakes head*
Don’t understand the fascination with it myself, but perhaps I’m missing a certain chromosome.
My hubby is upset with me, cuz i am not letting him play with fire this xmas, absolutely not burning the tree in January and NOT setting no fire the decoration deer I bought. He has been walking around the house looking hurt all this week after I prohibited fire this xmas. LOL
Have I mentioned that I ADORE your blog!?!? Ok…
We had to get a gas grill last year because my husband and lighter fluid…bad combination! So, I light the gas grill, he grills the meat, then I turn off the gas grill.
My turning off the grill is a lesson we learned a few months back when he left the grill going for 7 hours outside my kitchen door. We didn’t realize it until I came home from grocery shopping and let the god out to find my one windchime warped into an odd mockery of the fairy it used to be. It’s still out there…I call it abstract fae…her name is Penelope and she’s our grill guardian!
My friends husbands hates doing anything with food unless you mention BBQ then he gets a huge smile pulls out the grill and proceeds to stack the charcoal then comes the lighter fluid soaking and I don’t mean a light sprinkle then he lights it as we all stand 20 feet away holding our breath as the fire ball disapates he proceeds to pour about half the bottle on it to make sure it’s hot enough.