I’ve been expecting this for a couple of days, and boom, it hit me this evening. The flip side of the writing coin. I’m not one for aggrandizing, but I suppose you could say it’s the downside of creativity.
I am tapped out.
I’ve been expecting it for a couple of days. You know how when you’re stressed and it feels like you are dragging this huge weight around? Well, my stress suddenly dropped off and I’m kind of standing there, like a cartoon character, trying not to make searching motions with my hands and thinking, “What happened?”
We got the house – sent the check off today.
Jeaniene’s release was very successful – yay.
We found someone to take the dogs to the airport – also yay.
The tax guys have the missing W-2 – double yay.
All this happened in the last twenty four hours. Through the week this stress was building, I wrote continuously. For everything there is a price. And now I am feeling all funned out and empty. I know exactly what to write, down to the dialogue. I couldn’t care less.
Actually instead of writing this post, I could lay down on the floor and stare at the ceiling for a couple of hours thinking deep thoughts on different variations of “Screw it” and “Why do I bother?”
It’s not depression. It’s not writing block. It’s apathy. Big huge load of apathy. Bleh.
My usual method of trying to distract myself with the website building (Why do you think it changes so often? That’s why) has failed me. I simply can’t find a suitable image to screw with for the Edge part of the website. I thought of doing a castle on one side and a city on the other, but despite the fact that I have gotten pretty good, I just can’t find the right shot to insert castles and cities into.
Since that failed, I instead watched anime for three hours straight. It was an awesome anime too. The highlight of my day were pumellos Gordon bought me. Mmmm, yummy pumellos. The kids and I all had one and watched our cartoons.
Now I am back at the computer and I know I should be working. And I am not going to.
I don’t want to read. I suspect books at this point would make me vomit. I should probably not watch anymore TV, so knitting socks is out of the question. It’s too late to pack.
Meh.
This will pass by tomorrow or the next day, but meanwhile it’s meh.
I am meh too. But, I suspect my stress is a tenth of what yours is at the moment.
I have 3 sick kids all calling my name. I have started calling them Stewie at this point.
Hang in there.
Not surprising considering all the balls you had in the air that once stuff falls into place you feel this way. I’m sure shit will happen tomorrow to snap you out of it. Personally, when I’m like that I’ll go ride Vin or Lance. Either I’ll get good endorphins or Lance will buck me off and then I’ll go to ER and get the good drugs. Mood all fixed one way or the other. Wanna come ride Lance?
Prolly not many more chances as soon we’ll be on opposite coast.
I have the perfect song for you. It’s called Goodbye Apathy by OneRepublic. Listening music always helps me out when I’m down.
One of my 8th grade students, trying to use 2 vocabulary words in one sentence, stated, “I had a great surge of apathy.” Sounds as if you do, too!
Have you tried Lolcat viewing?
Maybe… play!
When I don’t want to read I play dress up with my kindle instead. Look! You can dress up your book nook!
http://www.decalgirl.com/category.view/Barnes-and-Noble-Nook
And your cell phone… and your lap top… matching electronics! Ooooo…
Or, if virtual shopping doesn’t help, tickle one of your family members mercilessly. I have a four year old and tickling him until he hides under his bed always lifts my mood. Or I tickle my husband which has different, but equally satisfying, results.
Or, if the apathy is just too strong go to sleep and trust that the first cup of morning tea will chase the apathy away.
*hug!*
It is obvious to me you need a second knitting project. The kind that requires full concentration so that you cannot watch TV. You can only focus on the knitting. Something like… complicated non-repeating pattern lace or something of that nature.
Also, I like naps when I am apathetic.
I’ve been there…a lot.
::hugs:: You don’t have a fun game to play? Well, I know it’ll pass, but it sucks when it hits just the same…..
snookies.
and you know that has everything i can say in it.
hope you overcome your apathy soon *waves*
how is the pic you want the castle / city in supposed to look? h2b is constantly taking pictures and also has some landscape shots… we might have something for you
I am looking for something like this first shot:
http://psd.tutsplus.com/tutorials/photo-effects-tutorials/how-to-create-a-serene-panorama-from-multiple-photographs/
Thank you, heee. It’s so nice of you to offer.
alrighty… I’ll look what we have and e-mail you something in case we have the right thingies.
you’ve got a castle or do you want me to check for that, too?
If you wouldn’t mind too terribly, I’d take a castle too
you’ve gots mail. didn’t find quite the right pic, though *sniffles*
Ugh, I hate it when that happens to me
. Only difference, I usually have no clue why… I hope your mood passes asap!
Also, I have some questions I’ve been meaning to ask and always forgotten.
How much do you get from audios? And how much from foreign books?
Awww, I can’t completely empathise because you’ve got a LOT more on your plate than me, but when i’m stressed about work and stuff, I plan a day to get out of the house, go for a nice long walk or something. That’s the only thing i can suggest but if it’s too cold (at the moment it’s snowing in Cardiff, Wales) go do something that relaxes you that’s totally different from what ya usually do (I am a bit OCD so i find re-arrange really old, photos into albums relaxing and funny to see me as a 3yr old with pants on my head…i know, I’m strange – i call it quirky!). Hope you find something to get you out of the ‘meh’, mood.
You have been doing very good impersonations of Superwoman, recently, so tbh, it’s got to catch up with you at some point. Good luck!
Burnout…. I empathise.
I find the worst passes in a few days. Walking helps.
It’s one of the worst things about being a writer.
It hits, you know it’s going to hit and when it does hit, there’s not much I can do about it but ride it out. I know some people can write even thru the apathy but I’m not one of them.
Hope yours passes quick.
lots of hugs for the blahs. Do you still need castle/countryside photos? I can dig out our pictures from our Ireland/Scotland trip, took lots of that kind on it. You are more than welcome to them. I’d need to scan cause it was before we had a digital camera. I just glanced at a few, good grief we look young! LOL
Sounds like a good time to snuggle the family, in particular the fuzzy part of it, take a long hot bath and just don’t be anyone for a little while.
time for hard yoga, a steam room visit, and a large glass of wine. that usually rejuvenates me. good luck getting back in the game.
One word: chocolate. (If that doesn’t work, take the big ol dogs for a walk. Fresh air, dontcha know.)
You can afford to be apathetic for a couple of days. According to your word count, you are kicking this book’s ass!
Doesn’t it suck? I get like this too. It’s like I’m on some kind of Super Mom/Wife mode when there are tons of things to get done then I come to a screeching halt and my mind and body say “I’m not moving. I’m not thinking. Don’t try and make me you wench”. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA