On Domination of the Universe

on-domination-of-the-universe

C. writes:

Can I just send you my money now and get the book as you write it?  I’m dying here and May is too far away.

Yes.  That will be one million dollars.  Thank you.

34 Comments

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  1. iona
    iona February 22, 2010 at 1:14 pm . Reply

    You put on the countdown to Magic Bleeds ! Cool.

  2. Candace
    Candace February 22, 2010 at 1:17 pm . Reply

    No matter what sort of horrible weekend I’ve had, your blog always manages to make me smile and laugh.

    I think I can wait a couple more months.

  3. B-ster
    B-ster February 22, 2010 at 1:21 pm . Reply

    That is really funny, unless of course, C is really dying and her last wish is to read your next book.

    1. iona
      iona February 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm . Reply

      That is so funny. Bet C has already tried that line.

  4. =A
    =A February 22, 2010 at 1:50 pm . Reply

    one mil?
    cool!
    (examines finances)
    …do you have an installment plan…?

  5. pklagrange
    pklagrange February 22, 2010 at 1:58 pm . Reply

    I’ll write you check! LOL

  6. Rebecca M
    Rebecca M February 22, 2010 at 1:59 pm . Reply

    How about ten 100 grand candy bars…almost the same thing right?

  7. Kalimera
    Kalimera February 22, 2010 at 2:11 pm . Reply

    Uh… I think I’m going to wait! Lol.

  8. Nurslings
    Nurslings February 22, 2010 at 2:14 pm . Reply

    Hmm, I wonder if the bank will give me a loan for that amount… I can see it now

    “How much do you need this loan for?

    “One Million dollars”

    Bank Loan Officer looks at me with eyebrows raised and says

    “Why on earth?”

    So I tell him “Ilona said that she would give me her book early if I gave her a million dollars, seems like a good deal to me!”

    “Security!!!”

  9. CheeseBK
    CheeseBK February 22, 2010 at 2:16 pm . Reply

    gah. and you even specified the currency. :D

    1. Aimee
      Aimee February 22, 2010 at 3:16 pm . Reply

      Ah, but see, if we pay in Taiwanese dollar, which has an exchange rate of 1USD=32TWD, the amount is considerably more reasonable =)

      I gotta admit though, what would ilona do if someone really did try to pay for an early draft…?

  10. Vinity
    Vinity February 22, 2010 at 3:10 pm . Reply

    Now won’t you feel funny if you get a million $$ check in the mail. LOL

  11. SylviaSybil
    SylviaSybil February 22, 2010 at 3:20 pm . Reply

    Is this like the old joke? “We already know you’ll do it, now we’re just haggling over the price”…?

  12. Nikkibee
    Nikkibee February 22, 2010 at 3:23 pm . Reply

    Yeah but C. is onto something here! If you make it more reasonable like say you charged a penny a word? Over the course of writing the book charge people per chapter. Pennies over time don’t seem so bad but by the time the book is finished they will have paid roughly $1,000 for one book! The author percentage for each book is normally under a $1 right? Thats a huge raise! I say go for it! :)

    1. Anaquana
      Anaquana February 23, 2010 at 3:20 pm . Reply

      That’s an interesting idea!

      Set it up so that people pay $2 and they get a link that takes them to the first chapter. Then $2 for the next chapter. And so on and so forth. Ilona’d make a killing that way, I’m sure. :D

  13. Brooke N.
    Brooke N. February 22, 2010 at 3:53 pm . Reply

    Bwahahaha! You know, it’s almost worth it :P

  14. Jasmine
    Jasmine February 22, 2010 at 4:00 pm . Reply

    Hahaha, now don’t be surprised if you recieve a fake cheque through the post! Just like that fake rock you got the last time :D

  15. Fidelia
    Fidelia February 22, 2010 at 5:19 pm . Reply

    Could we pay in Monopoly money?

  16. Ying
    Ying February 22, 2010 at 5:25 pm . Reply

    LMAO!! *breaking my piggy bank* look like I will need to take out a loan too.

  17. Has
    Has February 22, 2010 at 6:08 pm . Reply

    Or we can all chip in for a lottery ticket :D You never know!!!

    1. g027
      g027 February 23, 2010 at 12:38 am . Reply

      Yes, a lottery ticket!
      …Though I’ve heard you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than winning the lottery.

      Guess I’ll have to wait til end of May then.

  18. MomentKilla
    MomentKilla February 22, 2010 at 8:08 pm . Reply

    May? damn i’m soo stupid, i thought it was coming out in April. Which means i have to wait so much longer.

  19. hapalochlaena
    hapalochlaena February 22, 2010 at 8:54 pm . Reply

    Did you ever find out who sent the fake rock?

  20. wedschilde
    wedschilde February 22, 2010 at 10:33 pm . Reply

    screw the million dollars… have them move you. :::grins::: heh.

    okay, never mind… keep the million. :::winks:::

    oh… and the fake rock! heh… i think i wanna order one to throw at the tv.

  21. Sunscented
    Sunscented February 23, 2010 at 9:40 am . Reply

    See this is why I’ll never have a milliom dollars…because I’m not smart enough. Do you think that I’d use it for something altruistic, like curing the worlds evils, or something even just sensible, like sending my kids to college? Nope…sorry babies, that’s what scholarshps are for. Gotta get the next Kate book!

  22. SAM
    SAM February 23, 2010 at 11:05 am . Reply

    IIona has already sold her books to the publisher. You have to show your offer to them instead for the Kate series.

    You may be able to buy any new works but that would meaning owning a piece of IIona mind. IIona is your mind for sale ? :) lol

  23. Marielle
    Marielle February 23, 2010 at 11:26 am . Reply

    ROTFL! Ilona you guys can always crack me up!!! I am so looking forward to Magic Bleeds, Kate 5 and more wonderful Ilona Andrews.

  24. danib
    danib February 23, 2010 at 12:15 pm . Reply

    Will you consider payment in twinkees?

  25. Sharon
    Sharon February 24, 2010 at 6:39 am . Reply

    You know, there are enough of us that we could pool finances and only pay a few thousand each.

    I’d be willing to share. I bet for a million Ilona would give us an electronic version.

  26. Libby13
    Libby13 February 24, 2010 at 7:48 am . Reply

    I’m with Sharon lets pool our money and share. Oh who am I kidding like we’d be able to share it! Plus I can probably contribue uh £10 to the kitty. Nope never going to work I’ll wait till May!

    1. Sharon
      Sharon February 24, 2010 at 8:29 am . Reply

      OK perhaps Libby13 is right. I doubt I could manage much more than £10 either.
      Oh well – May isn’t long really. Sigh :-)

      Poor Ilona and Gordon aren’t going to get an early pay day after all :-)

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