On Search Strings, Hilarious Nature of

On Search Strings, Hilarious Nature of

As we were trying to get the website fixed – hopefully it’s fixed now, a database got corrupted somehow and was causing thousands of errors – I happened upon our site’s statistics, which list all the fun things people type into the search engine to reach our site.  I present to you the funnies:

purple and teal book picture about pulling bodies out of the dade miami bayou – Okay, this is just awesome

hair from hyena tail magic spell – I am not a wizard

alien body suit under her skin free – I have no ties to lizard people, and if I had an alien suit, I wouldn’t give it away.  I’d sell it.

iiona andrews, iilana andrews, illona andrewws, ione andrews, ionia andrews, ilanya andrews, ihona andrews, ilana andrews, ikona andrews, illonsa andrews, iolana andrews, alona andrews – Spell my name, spell my name

samhain publishing – Your princess is in another castle

theres a creature in my apple – My condolences.  Is half of it missing?

spoilers for magic breaks ilona andrews – Ask Gordon.

ilona andrews curran poverty – I hope not.

what expectations should a self published author see on free download promotion – She should expect to make no money.

one for the money jeaniene frost – Your princess is still in another castle.

ilona andrews networth – Not very much.  Trying to put away money for college here.  Also “networth” isn’t a word.  The net worth of this site, according to some free site measuring tool, is $14, 465.

will magic breaks be available kindle uk – Yes it will.  It will be a self-published release, like the last few, and it should be avialble within 24 hours of the US download.

space opera novel where strong female character lets bad guy go and gets tossed into prison – Ehhh.  You know who writes kick ass space opera?  Rachel Bach.

teen boys wrestling grab balls – Ok, how did you even get here?

ilona andrews sick – Aww, thank you for being worried.  Unless you were happy.  Then you can go suck rotten eggs.

curran beard lord – Hehe.  He does actually have a beard for a bit in Magic Breaks.

with who end kate daniels – Read and you’ll find out.

ending of magic breaks ilona andrews – Read the book.

can you buy an arc of kate daniels magic breaks – I’m sensing a pattern here.

ilona andrews radiance – Princess, castle, over there!

how to make my self rise up to the roof with magic – Still not a wizard.

blha blha blha – Ha!

authorlord ilona andrews – Now, I like this.  From now on, I declare I shall be known as authorlord!

I hope you enjoyed these funnies.  Sincerely, your authorlord.


  1. Katie S says

    Dear Authorlords, I finished my final chemo treatment yesterday and feel pretty miserable right now. However, these funnies made me LOL! AS THEY SAY, LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE. Thanks for giggles – now I have to swallow my real medicine..I promise it won’t make me laugh, but the chemo is over, you have a new book due out soon, and my chances of recurrence are less than 5%, so life is VERY good.

    BTW, I love the new background photo on the website.

  2. Mary says

    WOW…how do some of those even remotely connect to your site? I always thought that computing was logical…this is why I’m a techno-idiot.

  3. Denise Talley says

    I think the Authorlord needs to take over more castles. :)
    Thanks for the funnies.

  4. Renee says

    You two are brilliant. I just wanna be adopted into your family. Am happy to stay in the water heater closet.. I’m used to being in small closet-like spaces. A lot.

  5. snapdragon says

    Authorlord. I cracked up the first time it saw it written down. But you both are some of the best authors around.

  6. NicoleAllee says

    I admit it. “can you buy an arc of kate daniels magic breaks” is all me. The Baen website has spoiled me, and I have been so impatient for July 29!

  7. Cerulean says

    Thank you Authorlord, for suggesting Rachel Bach’s Fortune’s Pawn. I bought it and read all three books in a little over a week. Great stuff!!! I love all your book recommendations. For some reason (ha) I find I have the exact same taste in books as my favorite author(s)!

  8. J-me says


    But had to say “I know that one!!!!!!” for the space opera. Sherilyn Kenyon’s League series. Specifically the second one, Born in Fire. Really good. Miss Kick-ass has hero thrown in jail twice and kicks him and just about every other male she confronts in the balls. Hard.