Dina: Welcome to the Dabwaha debate. We are here, at Gertrude Hunt Inn, to help you make a decision between two books, Magic Breaks and Burn For Me. One of these novels will take home the title of the Dabwaha Champion. On our right we have Kate Daniels and Curran Lennart who will argue for Magic Breaks. On our left we have Nevada Baylor and Connor Rogan for Burn For Me.
Curran: We’re a more established series.
Kate: Yes. We were here first.
Curran: Also, we are an actual couple.
Rogan: Are you married?
Kate: We’re engaged.
Nevada: But you are getting married in this upcoming book, right?
Kate: Not exactly.
Rogan: So you’ve been engaged for two books now. You live together. You clearly have an adopted child. Yet, you are unmarried.
Curran: What’s your point?
Rogan: Is that a common thing in the future?
Nevada: Maybe it’s like magic. Maybe sometimes you are married and sometimes, when it’s convenient, you are not married?
Dina: I now have to reiterate that no violence will be tolerated. Please continue.
Curran: Why is marriage even an issue?
Rogan: It is clear that hero and heroine of the books should lead by example. You didn’t get together until fourth book, you are now on book eight and you have yet to finalize your commitment. We are questioning your moral integrity.
Curran: You are not married. You are not even together. You just have this instalust thing going.
Kate: Yes, you are just “forced together” by “Circumstance” so you can make out in public. Your moral integrity seems to be situational. Also, last time I checked, exhibitionism isn’t exactly a behavior people should imitate.
Nevada: It was one time. Your werelion broke into your apartment. And you physically brawl throughout the series.
Kate: You billionaire kidnapped you and chained you to the floor. If you need some self-defense pointers, I’ll be happy to teach you after the debate.
Nevada: Coming from a woman who by her own admission couldn’t hit a barn with a bullet, that’s not much of an insult. I can help you with that.
Kate: I can hit a barn with a bullet.
Kate: I’ll just have to throw it.
Rogan: You only have two books left.
Curran: No, you only have two books left. We have three.
Nevada: We are under contract for two more books and unlike the two of you, we’re not going to drag it out and toy with people’s emotions.
Kate: That’s probably because the two of you have the emotional depth of a tater tot.
Rogan: You’re on the way out. We are newer, cooler, and we have the benefit of worldbuilding that doesn’t make people’s heads hurt.
Kate: Aha. So you’re like us, except dumbed down.
Nevada: No, we are younger, more dynamic, and we have the benefit of many years of experience our authors accumulated while working on your books.
Rogan: Face it, you were a trial run.
Curran: We have the fans. You are just piggybacking off our success.
Kate: Two words: side series.
Nevada: We are financially stable. First, I have a detective agency that actually makes money. Rogan has a company that …
Kate: Does something unspecified that also makes money? You don’t even know what he does for a living.
Nevada: At least, he doesn’t turn into a lion at night.
Kate: At least, he doesn’t try to buy me.
Rogan: First, I didn’t try to buy her. Second, it’s probably because he doesn’t have any money to buy you with.
Curran: I don’t have to buy her. She loves me. Did Nevada ever say “I love you?”
Rogan: Unlike you, I don’t have to have the affirmation.
Curran: It’s a yes or no question, spoiled rich boy.
Rogan: I’m sorry, did you ever hold a job? Any job? You look like a big strong guy. Military service, perhaps?
Curran: I served my people for seventeen years. You, with all your money, can’t even buy a shirt so you don’t run around naked on your covers. People are now pasting things to cover you up. You’re an embarrassment.
Nevada: Yes, you were the king, who womanized and had his every need attended to so he could occasionally roar. Some of us work for a living.
Kate: Really? How old are you? Twenty four or so? You still live with your mom?
Curran: Oh, shots fired.
Nevada: I live with my mom because she needs me. Unlike you, I actually have a good relationship with my remaining parent.
Kate: That was a low blow. I didn’t expect anything else from you.
Curran: It’s a good question. How is this romance going to work, exactly? Is Rogan going to have to clear all of your relatives like a running back on a football field and then, when he gets to your loft, they can all listen and yell touchdown when he lands in there?
Dina: Mr. Rogan please put down the refrigerator. Mr. Lennart, your claws and teeth are not necessary. I think we’re done here. Each of you, final words.
Curran: Vote for us. We were here first. We’ve entertained you for years. We have a history together.
Nevada: What’s in the past is in the past. Vote for us. We are the new best thing and we’ll entertain you for years to come.
Kate: There is only one Beast Lord!
Rogan: Yes, and his name is Jim Shrapshire. Vote for us. We’re not Dorothy and a Cowardly Lion.
Dina: Okay. We are so sorry to cut this debate short. Please don’t worry about your heroes and heroines, the Inn is very gently restraining them and they will not be harmed. We hope you’ve enjoyed this debate. Vote here for your favorite. As always, Gertrude Hunt welcomes you any time.