Gordon: These portabello mushrooms are really good.
Me: Thank you. I think they turned out.
Gordon: The cheese is good too.
Me, thinking about the upcoming birthday dinner for the kids: I really would like to get the new phones before the trip. I told the kids it could be their birthday present.
Gordon: Considering the state of their current iPhones, I’d like them to be really careful with the new ones.
Me: I stressed that. But you know the worst punishment is having a busted phone, so I told them we wouldn’t pay for fixing the new ones if they broke.
Gordon: They are careless.
Me: I’d say fifty percent is carelessness and fifty percent is flawed design. I’ve dropped my (older) iPhone on the ground face down before and it didn’t break.
Gordon: The case cushions the fall.
Me: T. (the kid across the street) dropped his on the ground face down in the case and it shattered. The new iPhones just break easier.
Gordon: It’s the glass.
Me: It’s not tempered either. It doesn’t bead, it breaks into shards. I mean, what was the thinking behind that: here, let’s make a phone that can slice your hand up when it breaks?
Gordon: That would be a good way to kill somebody.
Me: That would be an excellent way to kill somebody.
Gordon: An assassin goes through metal detector.
Me: They search him for weapons, find nothing.
Gordon: He walks in, shatters his iPhone, pulls a shard out and slashes the target’s throat. Probably knows the precise spot on the screen and angle.
Me: He could just crack it on the side of any table. Or vanity.
And that’s what it’s like to have lunch with us.