I admit I started yesterday in a bad mood. Yesterday was the designated School Clothes Shopping Day and I hate those days. When I go to shop for clothes, I know what I need. If I am looking for a pair of jeans, I will go to jeans, find them in my size, and try them on to see if they make my butt look bigger. If they don’t and they are comfortable, I buy them. End of story.
Our teenage daughters? Not at all. They needed jeans, shorts, and capris for school. They grew out of most of their old clothes. Normally when they need an outfit or two, they are sent into the mall on their own, but in this case we needed specifics and we’re on a limited budget. If they were sent in by themselves, there was a good chance that they would come out $500 lighter, with one pair of jeans, one bikini, and a pair of furry thigh high boots. Neither of us was willing to take that risk.
I knew it would be a fight the entire way. Compound that with the crowd due to tax free weekend, and I was in a bad mood before we even got out the door.
First stop was Old Navy. I admit, it was picked over. But even so, the children basically refused to look at anything and after thirty minutes of border-line inappropriate threats and promises of sending them to school in uniform pants – which Old Navy strangely carried – we came out with four or five tops. No jeans.
Next stop – JC Penney. The Lakeside Mall is a maze of little roads, and stop signs, and cars, which are going in all directions. It’s hot. The traffic is awful. We get to the main mall building and park. We walk to JC Penney. Children are told their sizes yet again and sent to a very large Juniors jeans section. Fifteen minutes later Kid 2 comes out. “I don’t see any jeans.”
Me: So help me God, you will get some jeans, or I will explode.
Kid 2: Okay.
Kid 1 appears with five jeans on her arms. I’m thrilled. We go to the fitting room. Ten minutes later she comes out. “None of them fit.”
I look through the stack she discarded. Size 11, Size 16, Size 8….
Me: What is wrong with you? What size are you?”
Kid 1: blank stare.
Me: Three! You are size three! Why are you grabbing size 16?
Kid 1: I just grabbed a bunch of stuff at random so you wouldn’t be mad at me.
Me, boiling inside: “Go and get size three jeans. Do it now.”
Kid 1: O_O
Me: Come on. I will help you.
Kid 1: O_O
Que twenty minutes of looking through jeans. None of the jeans are okay. They are not the right color. They are not “denim”. They are not the right style. A large family is blocking the entire dressing room doorway and we can’t get them to move, because all of them must stand right there in the doorway while a young girl is trying on her outfits.
Meanwhile Kid 2 has narrowed it down the three or four pairs. Gordon is holding these pairs. We have now been in JC Penney’s for an hour.
Kid 1: holding up a pair of shorts in large size.
Gordon: Your mother and I can get into those together. What are you doing?
Kid 1: I can’t see anything in my size.
Me: Look. Look there is a stack of jeans right here. Look, it has sizes on the sticker. Size 3.
Kid 1: Teenage meh face.
Gordon: I’m done.
Gordon drops clothes on the floor and walks out.
Kid 1: O_O Dad had a moment!
Me: Find your sister, we are leaving.
Kid 1 finds Kid 2. I can see them talking. It looks something like this:
Kid 1: ~_~
Kid 2: O_O? O_O!
Kid 1: 
He-he-he.
Kid 2: :facepalm:
We proceed into the mall. Clearly the only way something will be bought is if it’s bought from a trendy store. As we walk, I see Rue 21. They are having a sale. It’s full of teenagers. Bingo!
We herd the kids into the store. Suddenly everything is great. Everything fits. Even when it is realized that most jeans are bell bottoms, the crisis is quickly solved by Kid 2′s decision to cut the bell bottoms into capris. Tops are bought. Cute dresses are bought. New jeans are bought. Gordon and I are loaded with clothes until we feel that we’re waking clothes racks. Then we stand in line for about twenty minutes. Finally everything is bought, surprisingly for a grand total of less than $350.
We go to Foot Locker. Gordon and I land on the fitting bench. Kid 2 immediately finds a pair of tennis shoes, tries them on, boom she is done. Kid 1 is looking. And looking. And looking. Finally I get up and go to help her.
Me: What’s the problem?
Kid 1: Everything is like $100.
Me: Good shoes will be about $100. Shoes are important, because you will be on your feet all day. Don’t worry about the price, just find something comfortable.
Fifteen minutes later Kid 1 picks out an odd black pair of tennis shoes. By now I Do Not Care. I am tired, my feet hurt, I’ve been at this for four hours.
Gordon: Those are odd.
Me: Death Glare.
Gordon: Also the soles are black and a lot of school gym teacher won’t let you wear them because you will scuff the floor.
Kid 1: O_O I’ll get something else. :goes back to shoes:
Gordon, looking at me: Seriously? What were you thinking?
Me: You know what, you go and help her pick shoes. I am done. :making hand washing motions: This is me washing my hands.
Gordon: Fine.
They return to the fitting bench with a pair of cute white tennis shoes. Kid 1 feebly attempts to put the shoes on.
Me: Loosen the shoe laces.
Kid 1: Eh…. Blank stare.
Me: Pull the shoe laces out.
Kid 1 has obviously shut down from the shopping. Finally the shoes are on, they fit, we buy them and we go home.
Later, at the pool into which Gordon and I had crawled immediately upon arriving home:
Kid 1: Look at my cute dress.
Me: It’s very cute.
Kid 1: I know. ::evil teenage face:: Dad had a moment at JC Penney’s. Hehehe! That was so funny.
I do not want to do this again for a little bit. Seriously.
And now I have to go and finish the science fiction story which will now be titled : Psychic Secretary and Millionaire Boss Pay for School Clothes.
AHH the back to school days. i work retail now at a payless in indiana. so while we didnt do tax free we are doing BOGO. so from August 1st til this coming friday things will be insane. my absolute favorite is when customers come in and the conversation goes. me: hi i can measure thier feet for you. parent: i know thier size me: it’s no problem double checking will only take a few seconds. parent: i know their sizes! me: ok (walk away) 5 min later am now helping 3 other customers and taking a phone call. parent: excuse me can you measure thier feet? me: O_O …sure meme just clear up the
tax free weekend over here was about 2 weeks ago. i had to work (walmart) for some of the weekend. good thing the garden center is forgotten sometimes. though it’s nasty when about 20 people remember at the same time and there’s only 1 cashier.
we already started school here in alabama as well. though i don’t have any kids to have to pay hundreds of dollars for what i’ve heard is a substandard education.
Thank you for taking time to set this situation out. No one in my extended family seems to understand how this awful situation. My spouse refused to assist. At least I now know that other parents hate the school shopping situation as much as I.
Stephanie recently posted..Shopping, Survival Tactics Off
Bahahahahaha. That’s awesome. I always used to give my mom SUCH trouble when we went school clothes shopping… mainly because stuff HAD to come from Fashion Bug… being a plus-sized teen sucks, and must have trendy clothes. XD My poor mom. I feel for you guys. XD
Lizz D recently posted..New Car
This doesn’t just happen when you’re a teenager. I’m 29 and my mom offered to buy me some new clothes this weekend because I’ve lost some weight and Macy’s was having an enormous sale. I instantly reverted to age 13.
Mom: What about this?
Me: I don’t like it.
Mom: What do you mean? You didn’t even look at it!
Me: I did! I don’t like it. It isn’t cut right and the color won’t look good on me.
**10 minutes later**
Me: Ooh, I love this! It’s perfect.
Mom: That is the same shirt I showed you 10 minutes ago. I just put it back on the rack because I got tired of waiting for you to actually look at it.
I know I’m an evil mom, but I love school uniforms. My daughter is now a senior in high school and has worn a school uniform since kindergarten. They are a boon to motherhood. No fighting in the morning about what to wear (with the exception of dress-down days). Next year, my daughter goes to college. She knows we will be getting the bulk of her clothing on Black Friday. Thankfully, she has been trained in the skill of hunting the wild bargain. Still, I refuse to assist her with college clothing shopping. She’s on her own – God help us all.
PS… I’m also thankful that I live in a state where clothing, food and medicine isn’t taxed. Well, they do tax clothing if the item is over $250. I never have to wait for tax free weekends. *shudders imagining fighting the crowds* You guys are much braver than I am.
Drag 14yr old son to staples for annual supply run: paper, pencils, calculator, poster parts, project parts, nit picky each teacher has to have it THEIR way for their class which is of course the ONLY class my son has & who cares if his pack is overloaded to the quasimodo stage class specific parts. (no lockers. the district actually believes no lockers guarantees no drugs or weapons – HA!)
Drag same teenager to walmart, target & old navy – watch as he IDK my size, Me no likee – I go naked 1st! to anything other than black, grey, navy or brown cargo shorts & polos, I’ll freeze before wearing long sleeves or pants. (phoenix doesn’t freeze per se but 40F is still darn cold!).
Refrain from screaming or running amok smacking all the pastels, long sleeves & pants to the floor after realizing the colors & types are out of stock in his size.
Promise to make him carry out his I go naked threat if doesn’t pick 1 of each thing, try it on! so we can photograph the tags with my cell phone & go home to order acceptable items online.
Get home & inform spouse next run in week or so once we know which dressy clothes for band are needed – YOU are going. Urgh.
I’m glad I don’t have any of my own. Have been dragged with various nieces, nephews and cousins to every clothing store in to and some out of town. Its always the same 1 kid likes a few things till the other says something..”Your joking” or “are you sure were related” etc….
Hahaha. We had to wear school uniform in our country, regardless whether it’s public or private schools. It made shopping easier cos you only need to find what fits, not what’s trendy.
Snuze recently posted..Amazing solution …
‘I am done. :making hand washing motions: This is me washing my hands.’
Gosh, Ilona, you’re fantastic. Jim said the said the same thing in Magic Gifts to Kate and Curran, and this is obviously where you got it from. I was guffawing throughout this.