A few words about the comments on the previous blog post.
You’re not a loser if you had to move in with your parents because you’re in school or can’t find a job.
You’re only a loser if you mooch off your parents by not contributing anything to the household. Kid 1, when in school, drives 1.5 hours to campus through terrible traffic to get there at 8:00 am, studies with a small break for lunch until 3:00 pm, often stays late to work on group projects, drives 1.5 hours back, crawls into the house, eats something, then does homework. She’s done it for 4 months. She doesn’t have either the time or the capacity to take care of a separate place to live, her dogs, her cat, and herself. And she still does the dishes and laundry and runs errands on weekends.
I really can’t ask for more form her. Or from Kid 2, who works two part time jobs while trying to write and figuring out what to do with her life. When they are done with school and with figuring things out, they will move on and take care of themselves.
At some point we were living in a tiny house with septic system shooting out into the yard. The house was in such a bad shape that the water heater fell through the floor into the basement. If we could’ve moved in with my parents, we would have.
This is temporary. You’re helping your parents the best you can. Stop beating yourself up about it.
your problems are not less important because other people’s problems are worse.
There was a point in my life when I desperately needed $300. Someone told me at the time, “I wish all my problems could be fixed with $300.” I wished they would stick their head up their ass. To me at that point $300 was the same as $3,000 or $300,000. Or $1,000,000. It was an insurmountable amount of money. I didn’t have it and I desperately needed it.
Your problems are your problems. You’re the person stuck dealing with them. Stop apologizing for having problems that are not as bad as other people’s problems. You have a right to have problems and a right to worry about them just as much as other people. To some people a broken car is the end of the world and to others $20 pack of diapers means difference between keeping it together and having a complete mental breakdown. Just because someone else is also having a mental breakdown over the fact that their multi-million dollar company is going under doesn’t mean your $20 pack of diapers isn’t a world-ending catastrophe in your little world.
Hang in there.