I am really a pretty hateful bitch, when it comes to books, so I rarely provide cover quotes. Giving the book a cover quote means endorsing it with our name. It’s similar to tapping a reader on the shoulder and saying, “Hey, I liked this. You like my books, you should give this a try.” I don’t usually do this lightly. I really have to like the book.
But sometimes I don’t even read the book in question before declining to quote. The deadlines are kind of killing us right now and have been for the past year, so sometimes I don’t have time, but occasionally it’s not the lack of time that’s the culprit, it’s the way the request is phrased.
The job of requesting quotes falls on editors and agents of the authors, and there is a kind of etiquette that goes along with the process. For example, if you were to go to our contact page, you would see that we ask all of the quote requests to be forwarded to our agent. Despite this, people still send the quote requests to us. Since I end up spending time reading them, I thought I’d use them as a blog post. . It must be said that most of those are probably honest mistakes on the part of the senders, but they are still amusing.
These are from a period of approximately two years and some of them were sent to me and others were shared by friends.
Dear Llona Andrews,
That’s not my name. If you’re requesting the quote, please make sure that the author’s name is spelled correctly.
Dear Chloe Neill,
That’s not my name.
Dear Ilona Andrews, My name is ____. I would be delighted if you could provide a cover quote for ____ new exciting debut. Jennifer, I think you will love…
_____is a fun, quirky, imaginative rift off the supernatural romance genre… …leaving precious little time for smoochies…
Riff on or sometimes riff off means to borrow and elaborate, it’s a jazz term. Rift means to split or cause a break in friendly relations. Also smoochies?
My deadline for this book is March 1st, so I need you to give this request highest priority.
Hahahaha! Okay, let me drop doing everything that I am actually getting paid for and accommodate your orders.
___ is a breath of fresh air in a field flooded with mediocre vampire and angel stories…
Did you look on my bloody sidebar before you sent the request?
____ is much better than Author X
I am friends with Author X. You are dead to me.
We need your help in promoting this release. If you like the book, we would be thrilled if you Twittered about it.
I’m not a publicist.
And finally, coup de grâce:
____ is a wonderful book and _____ is a unique heroine. You won’t find any magic swords or oversexed shapeshifters…