We often get questions about the difference between the Innkeeper pre and post edit. There you go. 🙂 This is a preparatory edit, before our editor looks at it at the end of the month.
House Krahr had taken that saying and ran away with it. The arrival deck of the ship looked like a courtyard of a castle in the finest Holy Anocracy tradition. Grey square stones paved the deck, climbing up to veneer the towering walls, punctuated by false windows. Long crimson banners of House Krahr, with the black profile of the saber-toothed predator that gave the House its name, stretched between the windows. Between them flowering vines sent a gentle perfume into the air, offering bunches of delicate pink blossoms. In the middle of the chamber, a vala tree spread its branches, its red blossoms in stark contrast to the black bark. A two-foot wide stream rushed through the artificial stream bed, breaking into two, falling down in three small waterfalls, then reuniting again before winding around the tree in a perfect circle, and disappearing beneath the roots. She could’ve understood if it was part of the water supply that would be later recycled, but there were bright sparkly fish in it. It wasn’t used for anything except stress-relieving decoration. The luxury was mind-boggling.
House Krahr had taken that saying and ran away with it. The arrival deck of the ship looked like a courtyard of a castle in the finest Holy Anocracy tradition. Square grey stones paved the floor and veneered the towering walls. Long crimson banners of House Krahr, marked with a black profile of the saber-toothed predator, stretched between the false windows. The gentle breeze of atmospheric circulators stirred the fabric, and the krahrs on the banners seemed to snarl in response.
In the middle of the chamber, a vala tree spread its black branches. Solid, with a sturdy trunk and a mass of limbs that divided and subdivided into a vast crown, the vala reminded Maud of basswood, but unlike the gentle green of linden trees, vala’s leaves were a vivid scarlet. The blood-red heart of the ship.
As if all that wasn’t enough, a two-foot wide stream meandered through the smooth stream bed crossing the deck, winding around the tree in a perfect circle, and disappearing beneath the roots. Maud could’ve understood if it was part of the water supply that would be later recycled, but there were bright sparkly fish in it. The stream served as a decoration, nothing more. The luxury boggled the mind.
So as you can see, right now it’s just a sentence level cleaning. Because sometimes we read what we wrote and go, “Who wrote this crap?” It’s not that difficult, but there is a point where the sentences stop making sense because you stared at them for too long. SOB is a little different in that I expect major changes post edit. Gordon doesn’t. His position is readers like it the way it is so let’s mess with it too much. I expect the editor to rip it to shreds. We’ll see what happens. 🙂
If you get an urge to point out a typo, please resist, heh. That’s what Stephanie gets paid big bucks for when she scrubs the manuscript in copyedits.