Little Snippet of Dali’s Story (because I have no content)

I peered through the windshield of my ’93 Mustang. The Buzzard Highway stretched before me, a narrow line of crumbling pavement vanishing into dusk.  Below it ran the Scratches, a twisted labyrinth of narrow ravines gouged out of the ground by magic three decades ago, when our world began to end.  The old road skimmed the top of ravines, rolling far into the distance, where the sunset glowed gold, red, and finally turquoise.  There was something vaguely wrong with this picture, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

The Buzzard Highway took no prisoners.  Step too hard on accelerator, turn the wheel half an inch too far, and Boom! Pow! Fiery crash!  To the bottom of the ravines you went.  Only Atlanta’s best and craziest raced here.

That’s why I liked it.  When a girl weighs a hundred pounds wet, her glasses look like a loupe borrowed from Sherlock Holmes, and everybody under the sun makes fun of her because she’s a vegetarian and blood makes her vomit, she has to do something for fun.  The wild deafening chaos of Friday night Buzzard race was my fun.

It was so peaceful now.  So quiet.  Just me and the Mustang.  I named it Rambo.  It was a sweet car, built from ground up for one purpose: to go fast.  We understood each other, Rambo and I.  Rambo liked to kick ass, and I made sure it had a chance to show off.

My body was so light.  It was an odd feeling, almost like swimming or floating through some feathery cloud.

A familiar face appeared in the windshield: pale skin, dark eyes, a long tattoo of a dragon wrapped around the neck, snaking its way down under the blue tank top.  Kasen.  Decent enough guy as wererats went.  He worked the tow truck and liked to hang out at the races at Buzzard Highway.  They were good for his business.

Kasen’s lips moved, but no sound came out.  He looked kind of funny there, sideways, flapping his lips in silence.  What is it you want, silly person?

Kasen was sideways.

The sunset behind him was sideways too, the highway running to the left the sky.

Oh crap.

Crap, crap, crap.

The phantom cotton clogging my ears vanished and the world rushed at me in an explosion of sound: the distant roar of car engines, the groaning of metal, and Kasen’s voice.

“Dali?  You okay, baby girl?”

I tried to talk and my mouth worked.  “Cool like a cucumber.”

He grinned.  “You know the drill.  Hold tight.”

I clamped my seat.

Kasen stepped out of my view.  Rambo screeched.  Metal clanged.  I winced.  Rambo, you poor baby.

The sunset turned and dropped into its rightful place with a shudder.  Rambo’s tires hit the pavement and bounced once.  The left lens of my glasses popped out of the frame and plunked onto my lap.  I swiped it off my jeans, squeezed my left eye shut, and climbed out of the car.

“I flipped!”

“You flipped.”

Hot damn!  Rambo’s front end looked like a crushed coke can.  Water wet the highway, leaking from the hood – the enchanted water tank that let the car run during magic waves had ruptured.  I must’ve taken the turn too fast.

Kasen peered at me.  “Why is your eye closed?  Did you hurt yourself?”

“No, it’s closed, because my glasses are broken, and looking through one lens makes me dizzy.”

“Situation normal, all fucked up.”  Kasen rubbed the back of his head.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.  “It’s not that bad!”

“You want Rambo towed to the usual place?”

“Yeah.”  My races would be cancelled for a month.  Bummer.

Kasen nodded at the Mustang.  “That’s your second crash in three weeks.”

“Aha.”

“Didn’t Jim forbid you to race?”

Jim was my alpha.  The shapeshifter Pack was segregated into seven clans, by the family of the animal, and Jim headed Felidae with a big Jaguar paw hiding awesome claws.  He was smart, and strong, and hot, and the only time Jim noticed my existence was when I made myself into a pain in the ass or when he needed an expert on ancient Far East.  Otherwise, I might just as well have been invisible.

I raised my head to let Kasen know I meant business.  “Jim isn’t the boss of me.”

“Actually yes, yes he is.”

It’s good that I wasn’t a wereporcupine, or his mouth would be full of quills.  “Are you going to snitch on me?”

“That depends.  When you die, can I have your car?”

“No.”

Kasen sighed.  “I’m trying to make a point here.  I’ve been watching this race for six years now and I’ve never seen anyone crash as much as you.  You’re my number one customer.  You can barely see, Dali, and you take stupid chances.  No offense.”

No offense, right.  No offense stood for I’m going to insult you but you can’t be mad at me.  I bared my teeth at him.  When it came down to it, he was a rat and I was a tiger.

Kasen raised his hands up.  “Fine.  Forget I said anything.”

The world blinked.  The colors turned slightly brighter, the scents grew sharper, as if someone dialed the picture’s resolution up a notch.  A welcome warmth spread through my body – the magic wave had flooded the world.  The distant roar of the gasoline engines choked and died.  It would take fifteen minutes of chanting to get the enchanted engines to start.  The race was dead.

“What if I take you to dinner?” Kasen said. “I know this really nice place down on Manticore…”

Wererats always knew this nice place to eat.  They munched constantly or they went twitchy, meaning they suffered attacks of the hypoglycemia: cold sweat, headaches, convulsions, accompanied by nervousness and bouts of aggression.  Not fun.

I squinted my open eye at Kasen.  There was no reason for him to offer me dinner.  Most likely, he just wanted to butter me up so he could get a shot at my wheels after my demise.  Too bad for him – I might not have been the strongest weretiger or the most bloodthirsty, but my bloodline was pretty damn old.  Lyc-V, the shapeshifter virus, and my family were good friends and the levels of virus in my body ran higher than in most shapeshifters.  The higher the concentration of the virus, the faster the regeneration.  Normally higher levels of Lyc-V also meant greater risk of losing your mind and turning into a crazed loup killer, but so far I hadn’t had to worry about that.

I was hard to kill.  Nothing short of a fiery crash complete with a giant explosion at the end would send me into afterlife, so if Kasen was hoping to inherit my car, he would get a smoking wreck for his trouble.

I wrinkled my nose at Kasen.  “Thanks, but no thanks.  I need to get home.”

He heaved a sigh.  “Maybe next time.”

“Sure.  Maybe next time.”

I have no content

i-have-no-content

It’s a cold blustery day in Portland, Pooh-Bear.  The temperature has dropped almost over night and the sky is overcast.  Fall is coming, I can feel it.  By the way, my iPad came with an edition of Pooh Bear preloaded and it looks totally awesome.  I was trying to read it on the plane ride from hell and the familiar illustrations were so comforting.

There are birds outside, did you know?

We have given up on trying to sell the house.  We’re now trying to rent it out.  Go, house, go!

I stole Kid 1′s nail polish and painted my toes grey.  They now look hideous.  I don’t know how the same color can look totally great on her and totally awful on me.

We bought this totally awesome bracelet at the dealer’s room at the Armadillocon, made of memory wire.  I want to make one myself, but I’m not sure what to buy for it or where, heh.

Need to work.  Today needs to be a solid writing day, so we don’t get fired.  :)

We’re Back!

were-back

Hey Everybody!  We are home and recovering.  Austin and Armadillo Con were fantastic but we are happy to be back in our house with our pets.  We had a great time and met a lot of very nice people.  Thursday night we got in and had dinner with Anne Sowards, our awesome editor at Ace.  It was our first time meeting her in person, and she is so nice.  Our kids were taken to eat super yummy Korean food by their Aunt Reece and had fun.  Mad props to Reece for watching our kids and not letting them do crazy stuff/come to any harm.  You are better with them than we are, I think.  I actually asked Kid 2 (who was being a brat)  on the plane yesterday if she would act like that if you were there.

The hotel was really nice, it had a hot tub and two pools!  I did my “James Brown’s Celebrity Hot Tub” thing but nobody got it.  The restaurant in the lobby was great and I looked forward to going down and having breakfast in the mornings before panels. We did a workshop on Thursday and I have to say the people whose work we critiqued were very good writers.  Ilona and I look forward to seeing more from all of them, especially Kevin and Jessie.  The pink plush dino worked out, but I really think that most of them did not need it.  Stina Leicht did a great job running things and we got to hang out with Nancy Holzner, who writes great books and who is supercool in person.

We met the coolest people evah!  Rachel Caine was as nice as she is talented.  Our youngest daughter loves her Morganville Vampire series.  Rachel and her husband, Cat Conrad were so much fun to hang out with.  For me it is incredible that as successful as they are, they are also totally approachable.  Cat, despite the fact that I told him he would look “pretty in a kimono”,  was terribly gracious and showed our daughters around the art exhibit.  Our kids were impressed with his stuff, but described much of the other art as a collection of “steam-punk kitties,” whatever that means.  Ilona and I have decided that when and if we grow up we would like to be Rachel and Cat, but I can’t draw.  Also, Cat told us an awesome story about Harlan Ellison, which we’re not sure we’re allowed to retell.

We all had a great time in the dealer’s room.  There was no end of cool goodies to be had and we all got goodies.  Ilona got a “decadent” kimono, I got Bobba Fett and Super-Man, Kid 2 got a naked Troll Doll and showed everybody its butt, while Kid 1 went for beautiful earrings and a very pretty tee-shirt.  We all got terrific books and graphic novels.  (See picture)

On Sunday we had a signing and I was honored to sit next to Steven Brust (Reece thanks again).  Ilona and I are long time fans of his Vlad Taltos and the Phoenix Guard series. He was a huge influence on us when we were college students dreaming of being writers.  When we first looked at the program, there was an S. Brust listed and I said to Ilona, wouldn’t that be amazing if it was really him.  She did not think that it would be.  On the back my name card, I had written during a panel that it was him, at the signing I got to show him.  Fan boy moment.

We met a ton of great people.  Mark Hoover it was a pleasure, you need to write that SF YA, it could be huge.  Michael “Micky” Finn, it was cool meeting you and I am sorry that the Cheese Cake Factory dinner did not work out.  On that note, Dear Cheese Cake Factory, you are the most overrated restaurant I have still not eaten at.    We got there before six, waited an hour and a half to sit outside, waited another 40 minutes for the food, and then at 7:45 we knew we were not going to make our panel at 8:00.  I was late as it took another 30 minutes to get our check and the food to go.  I was late to the panel and the food sucked.

On the other hand, we had dinner with the Armadillo organizers and other guests at the County Line on Sunday and it was terrific.  The BBQ was fantastic, and the company was better.  Thank you for having us.  After dinner, we waddled down to the water (we were so full) and fed the turtles in a nearby river.  It was amazing, one of them had a Cross design on the back of its shell.  Thank you, Uncle Jonathan for ferrying us back and forth.  Ok, it wasn’t really him but Reece and I thought he looked like him.

Our only regret is that we were unable to steal Michael Bishop’s autograph.  We really wanted to snag a moment of his time, but somehow we never connected.

In conclusion, thank you to the Armadillocon for inviting us to hang out with you in Texas.  It was almost like being invited to a warm and welcoming family reunion and we’re deeply grateful for the experience.

still alive

still-alive

in bed, typing on the iPad. it’s morning and I ought to get up but I don’t want to.
The workshop went well, nobody cried. People did occasionally hug the pink dino we brought.
We met Rachel Caine, who is so awesome, and Michael Bishop, who was equally awesome.
We have some panels today and a shindig at five, I think. Unfortunately, the hotel bucked at letting us bring the booze in, so there will be just Anne, us, and a lonely Bayou Moon ARC to be given away.

Wisdom from Robert Parker

wisdom-from-robert-parker

Robert Parker was one of our favorite authors – both Gordon and I really liked his work.

‘All Our Yesterdays’ was unquestionably the best work I have ever done. And the reading public stayed away in droves.
Robert B. Parker

I have a feeling we’ll be saying that about BAYOU MOON

College had little effect on me. I’d have been the same writer if I’d gone to MIT, except I’d have flunked out sooner.
Robert B. Parker

Hehe!

I didn’t have to say it. I just had to write it. It was painful enough.
Robert B. Parker

Yup.

I think at this stage in my life I have learned that there are any number of things that men will never know, and can never hope to know, about women.
Robert B. Parker

Pretty much.

If you want to write, write it. That’s the first rule. And send it in, and send it in to someone who can publish it or get it published. Don’t send it to me. Don’t show it to your spouse, or your significant other, or your parents, or somebody. They’re not going to publish it.
Robert B. Parker

Word!

Send it to someone who can publish it. And if they won’t publish it, send it to someone else who can publish it! And keep sending it! Of course, if no one will publish it, at that point you might want to think about doing something other than writing.
Robert B. Parker

Hehe.

Sure, I have advice for people starting to write. Don’t. I don’t need the competition.
Robert B. Parker

LOL.

Reading through the submissions

reading-through-the-submissions

Oy.

O_O

This is why I don’t usually do workshops.  We mostly end up critiquing other writers, who don’t want the cushioning of the critique, they just want the meat and potatoes of the problem.  I’m afraid we might make people cry.

I think we might have to do the card thing, to where we give out two cards a green and a red one.  If the writer feels that they need some time time to come to terms to our critique, they can hold up the red card and we’ll move on.