On Husbands, Peculiar Associations Of

on-husbands-peculiar-associations-of

We received several emails asking when the move to hardcover will happen, and I can tell you honestly that I don’t know.  But I don’t think it will be any time soon.  :D

A move to hardcover usually happens because of great sales or because the content of the book might be better suited to the hardcover edition.  In our case, I don’t think the sales are up to the level where such a change will happen.

In other news, I can haz an iPad.  Gordon bought one for me out of the blue.  He says it’s a business expense for the convention.  It was crazy and I was so happy, I didn’t even fuss about the money.  It is terribly neat.  Mostly I don’t get to play with it, because the kids have stolen it.  The girls really like apps, and after the initial request to download some, I told them that as long as they reimbursed me, they could download fun stuff.

For the duration of a couple of days, the kids have been steadily bringing me dollar bills from their allowance in payment for said apps.  At first I kept the small pile of money on the windowsill next to my chair.  The pile got more and more unwieldy.  Finally I got a pink paper envelope from some type of a greeting card and decided to sort it all out.  I laid the bills out on the chair – for some reason kid money always looks tortured and crumpled – got my pink envelope and tried to smooth the money out.

Gordon decided this would be a good time to come back into the room.  Here I am, covered in dollar bills, with my pink envelope and he’s looking at me.

At this precise moment Kid 2 slinks to my chair and drops another dollar on my lap.

Gordon looks at her and says, “Stop doing that!  Your mother is not a stripper.”

O_O

Y’all are too funny!

yall-are-too-funny

A hundred and fifty plus responses on the pretty boy vampire thing.  ::Shakes head::  I had no idea so many people were starved of fiction where the pretty girl tells the gorgeous vampire to beat it.

I am still so tired.  Brain is working and producing ideas and scenes, but the actual sitting down and writing them is very, very slow.  Which is what I should be doing now instead of writing blog posts.

Still have a pile of submissions to review for the writing workshop for Armadillocon.

Also, here is our schedule for Armadillocon for next week  (Look, J., I put it up, you totally can’t fuss at me any more):

Armadillocon Schedule:

Sa1200T Why do Shapeshifters get the girl?
Sat Noon-1:00 PM Trinity
I. Andrews, G. Andrews, T. Mallory, N. Holzner, S. Leicht*

Sa1400SA Playing Friendly: Shared Worlds and Collaborations
Sat 2:00 PM-3:00 PM San Antonio
G. Andrews, I. Andrews, A. Allston, B. Hale*, R. Bennett, R. Eudaly

Sa1700SM Urban Fantasy/Editor Guest Meet and Greet. An informal party, come and meet Gordon, me, and our cool editor. Everyone’s invited. We’re hoping to have food and beer.
Sat 5:00 PM-6:00 PM San Marcos
I. Andrews, G. Andrews, A. Sowards

Sa2000T City as Character
Sat 8:00 PM-9:00 PM Trinity
A. Downum*, I. Andrews, G. Andrews, S. Lynch, P. Sarath, C. Berg, M. Wells

Su1200SM Fannish Feud
Sun Noon-1:00 PM San Marcos
R. Eudaly*, C. Conrad, R. Caine, A. Martinez, J. Nevins, K. Kofmel, S. Leicht, R. Babcock, E. Burton, D. Tolliver, I. Andrews, G. Andrews

Su1400DR Signing
Sun 2:00 PM-3:00 PM Dealers’ Room
I. Andrews, G. Andrews, A. Marmell, S. White, S. Brust

Work! Work! Work!  I kan do et.

Pretty boy vampire

pretty-boy-vampire

V. writes

Will you ever write a traditional pretty boy vampire?

Traditional as in Bram Stoker traditional, or Anne Rice traditional, or Stephanie Meyer traditional?

Ehhh….

Fine, this once just for you.  Since there is a boy in there, I suppose I have to go with a YA theme.

A faint flutter brushed against the back of my neck.  The cat ward tattooed on my left shoulderblade stirred, prickling me with his claws.  I raised my head from my locker.  A boy was looking at me from across the hallway.  Tall, blond, with eyes that were the purest unnatural shade of aquamarine.

He saw me looking and smiled.   The smile lit up his face, warming his eyes, turning him impossibly beautiful.  A subtle aroma floated on the draft, a mix of sandalwood and something slightly sweet.  The cat on my shoulder stretched and rose, just in case.

The aroma tugged on me, enticing, spiced with magic.  A vampire.  Of course.

The boy headed in my direction, moving like a tiger on the prowl: graceful, elegant, and ready to pounce. He looked like he needed one of those tailored Tudor doublet things and a rapier.   That’s one of the things vampires were good at – they made it seem they were miles better than you so when they stooped to your level, you were supposed to feel special.

I stuffed my Trig textbook into my backpack and pushed the locker shut.

“Hi!  I’m Sebastian.”

Of course you are.  They never had normal names like James or Robert.   I had to say something.  “Hi.”

He stepped a a few inches too close.  “I haven’t seen you before.  Are you new?”

Vampires were like cats: new meant exciting.  “Maybe you just didn’t notice me.”

He cranked the smile up another notch.  Miranda’s cheesy books go on and on about how the vampire skin is like polished white marble.  They’re off by a mile.  Marble is cold and monotone.  Sebastian radiated warmth.   He was vivid, as if everyone in the room was in black and white and he was the only one in color.  He made you think of sex.  Of what it would be like.

His voice caressed my skin.  “I would’ve noticed you.”

I needed to giggle.  If I giggled, he’d write me off as an easy target and probably move on.  Problem was, I’ve never giggled in my entire life.

“You never told me your name…”

One giggle.  I could do it.  I had to do it or he wouldn’t leave me alone.

No.  Not happening.

To the left Jessica turned the corner and saw us.  She froze for a second, gulped, and headed toward us with a determined look on her face.  “Hey!”

A faint hint of a grimace passed over Sebastien’s face.

“I’ve been looking all over for you.  We’re going home together.  Now.”

“We were talking,” Sebastien said.

“That’s nice, but she doesn’t need to be talking to you.  Leave her alone, it’s her first day.  Come on, Maud, we’re leaving.”

A burst of magic shot from Sebastien.  Jessica stopped in mid-step.

“You don’t need to go home with Maud,” he said, his whisper saturated with force of suggestion.

“You’re right,” Jessica said.  Her eyes went vacant.

“Maud is walking home with me.  You’re leaving.”

“I’ve got to go,” Jessica said.  “Bye, Maud.”

Obi Wan did it much better.  “Bye.”

She walked away.  I swung my backpack onto my shoulder and followed her.  Sebastien matched my stride.

“Maud…”  Poof, burst of magic. Overkill.

“What a beautiful name…”  Poof, another burst.

The air was so thick with his magic, I wanted to wave my hand in front of my face.

“It’s such a nice day.”  Poof!  “Let me walk you home.”

I sneezed.

“You’re adorable,” he said.

You really shouldn’t have said that.  Really.  “No.”

“Yes,” he murmured, opening the door for me.  I stepped through into the sunshine. “You want to walk with me.”

“No, I really don’t.  You’re an idiot.  And a pervert.”

Sebastien blinked.

“Don’t charm Jessica again.  I like her.”

The smooth mask slid off his face.  For a second his eyes looked predatory, his lips trembled, baring his fangs, and then he hid it again.  “That sounded like a threat.”

“You know what’s the fastest way to kill you, Sebastien?  It isn’t by staking you or setting you on fire.  The fastest way is to reach inside a vampire and rip his soul from his body.”

He sneered.  “And you can do that?”

“No, I can’t.  But my brother can.  That’s his car over there.”  I nodded at the dark Land Rover.  “The sad thing for you is that if you piss me off enough, I won’t even need my brother to deal with you. ”

I walked away, heading to the Land Rover.   Now Claude will spend the entire ride to the Inn interrogating me about talking to vampires.  Maybe I should rethink this whole highschool thing.

Aaa!

aaa

This morning:

Me: Lalalala, I am going to write, lalalala….

Email from Publicist: Dear Ilona, we needz an excerpt for Bayou Moon, plz, thank you.

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Me: Header make-make-make, website fix-fix-fix, spaghetti cook-cook-cook, Oh look stupid people on TrueTV being stupid, website fix-fix-fix, excerpt upload.

Gordon: Readers letter write-write-write

Me: Reader letter upload.

6:32 PM.

What the hell?  Where did the day go?

Reader letter is available here: http://www.ilona-andrews.com/

Two of my favorite things – together!

Hello, hello

hello-hello

For a whole week I did nothing.  I played World of Warcraft, went to the movies, overdosed on TV, pandered to my addiction to  Warhammer Books and generally had fun.

Tragically, all good things must come to an end and the vacation is over.

Anne, the mighty editor, read MAGIC SLAYS and said that while it wasn’t awful, it could use some work.  We chatted and agreed it needed a rewrite, which gives us a tight schedule until January.  We have to knock out a novella by the end of this month, rip MAGIC SLAYS to shreds and rebuild it by October, and turn in Edge 3 by December.

I knew MAGIC SLAYS wasn’t that great.  Gordon tried to tell me it wasn’t working, but I persisted in finishing it.  I blame fatigue.  I think sometimes you get so tired that you slide into a kind of tunnel vision, where the goal is in site and you force yourself to get there by any means necessary.  In writing, that’s not such a great thing, because the final product suffers as a result.

To avoid this fatigue, I’m going to try a new schedule.  No working on the weekends.  No working after 5:00 pm.  Eight hours of writing every day and no more.

In other news, Luka Brasi no longer lives with us.  The house in Georgia hasn’t sold, and what was going to be a short term rental has now turned into a long-term roof over our head.  Luka didn’t handle the move too well.

Like all mastiff breeds, he needs constant human contact and I do mean constant.   He usually wasn’t allowed upstairs, because he has a habit of rolling in dirt, until his face becomes smeared with a glue-like mix of spit and mud and upstairs has an off-white carpet.  When he was allowed, he would nudge us with his nose every thirty minutes or so, leaving a  trail of mud-drool on my chair or on Gordon’s back.  As our professional deadlines became dense, we ended up ignoring him most of the time.

We tried walking Luka and playing with him, but despite our best efforts, Luka developed a separation anxiety, which was reinforced by the smaller yard – he couldn’t blow off his steam by running around.

As much as we didn’t want to admit it, Luka wasn’t a happy dog.  So we found a lovely family to take him: they have a female mastiff, young children who will give Luka his constant attention, and an acre of a yard, which will let him run around as much as he wants.  We’ve offered them a week to bring him back if things didn’t work out and yesterday we got an email: he is doing great, they love him, and they think we’re cool for having trained him this well.

It was a hard decision to make.  Gordon really liked him.  The dog is on his Facebook page and on his business cards.  I did my best to play devil’s advocate and talk him out of it, but the truth is keeping Luka would be selfish.  He was an unhappy dude.

The sad thing is, I caused this by initiating the move to Portland.  It’s better for our family overall.  It just wasn’t better for Luka.

Meanwhile, Kid 2, who had never had a dog of her own, got a pug.  The pug wasn’t a replacement for Luka – we got her before Luka left, because Kid 2 always wanted a buddy and of all of us, she was the only one who never got one.

Sophie “Miss B. Havin” is a silly little dog.  The first day we brought her into the house, Gordon and I were sitting down and eating some chicken and she growled and barked, trying to intimidate us into surrendering the chicken to her or else.  I died.  We have the chain of command straightened out now, but it was too funny.

Sophie loves being washed.  If the washing occurs via sprinklers, even better.

Sophie loves to steal things.  Underwear. Flip-flops.  She stole a pen while I was typing this.

Sophie loves to sit on Kid 2′s lap while she’s on the computer.  If lap isn’t available, she will settle for sitting on her desk.  I think she would sit on Kid 2′s head if she could.

Kid 2 is not a morning person and when Sophie is let in after her ten minute morning bathroom ritual, Sophie runs and jumps on Kid 2′s bed and tries to dig her face out of her hair.   She is a sweet little dog.

Salem, however, is not amused by these shenanigans. With Luka gone, Delialah, the vicious Doberman, is once again permitted upstairs.  Del likes Salem, but Salem doesn’t like dogs, period, and there will be blood, I just know it.

Life goes on.