On April 1st, 2015, we’ve made an April Fools post. We thought we were being quite clever. Below are the contents of that post.
The announcements just keep on coming.
So without further ado, here is the cover and blurb. Click to enlarge.
Hugh d’Ambray, Preceptor of the Iron Dogs, Warlord of the Builder of Towers, bowed to only one man. Now his immortal, nearly omnipotent master is gone and Hugh must carve a new place for himself and his people in the post-apocalyptic world where magic comes and goes in waves. With former allies ready to tear him apart, Hugh is forced to make alliances to preserve the Order of Iron Dogs, warriors who would follow him anywhere.
Serafina Price is the head witch of the Midwestern Covens. She is powerful, devious, and smart. Her people think she is a goddess, her enemies call her Snake. Tasked with protection of her people, she is trapped between the magical heavy weights about to collide and plunge the entire region into war that human authorities have no power to stop. Desperate to preserve the covens, she would accept help from the devil himself.
They detest each other, yet they need each other to survive. How can two people famous for betraying their former allies cement their agreement without a shadow of a doubt?
We hope you will enjoy this new look into the mind of Hugh d’Ambray. I just got an awesome quote on this from Lorna Sterling, who writes fantastic pirate-themed romances.
“Magnificent! He is a true Romance Hero!”
E of bookpushers would like to add, “Finally we were able to see the full extent of Hugh d’Ambray’s passion, not just his skill with a blade. It was well worth the decades long wait!”
Then there were comments.
I HATE April’s fool’s! I got so frickin’ excited!
but but but…its an amazing idea!!!!!! I wanna read this 🙁
I don’t think it’s an April Fools’s prank. I think it’s real because it’s on Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25266707-warlord-s-price?from_search=true
Nooo! It’s not real!? How can this be? …
I’d love to see you marry Hugh off to someone he totally hates
I would totally buy this book.
Shut up and take my money!!!!!
Then we got an email from a slightly confused librarian. One of the library visitors requested the book. The librarian realized that is was a joke and informed the patron that this was an April Fool’s spoof, to which the patron apparently replied, “If we request it enough, they will write it.”
We are proud to announce IRON AND MAGIC, the first book in Hugh d’Ambray series. Unfortunately we can’t show you the cover, because we don’t have the preorder link up due to circumstances beyond our control – thanks, Texas thunderstorms – but we can taunt you with the cover and this awesome wallpaper we can’t show you yet.
We have a release date.
We have a book blurb.
No day is ordinary in a world where Technology and Magic compete for supremacy…But no matter which force is winning, in the apocalypse, a sword will always work.
Hugh d’Ambray, Preceptor of the Iron Dogs, Warlord of the Builder of Towers, served only one man. Now his immortal, nearly omnipotent master has cast him aside. Hugh is a shadow of the warrior he was, but when he learns that the Iron Dogs, soldiers who would follow him anywhere, are being hunted down and murdered, he must make a choice: to fade away or to be the leader he was born to be. Hugh knows he must carve a new place for himself and his people, but they have no money, no shelter, and no food, and the necromancers are coming. Fast.
Elara Harper is a creature who should not exist. Her enemies call her Abomination; her people call her White Lady. Tasked with their protection, she’s trapped between the magical heavyweights about to collide and plunge the state of Kentucky into a war that humans have no power to stop. Desperate to shield her people and their simple way of life, she would accept help from the devil himself—and Hugh d’Ambray might qualify.
Hugh needs a base, Elara needs soldiers. Both are infamous for betraying their allies, so how can they create a believable alliance to meet the challenge of their enemies?
As the prophet says: “It is better to marry than to burn.”
Hugh and Elara may do both.
And… We have a contest.
We need a series name for Hugh and Elara’s books.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read through the Giant Excerpt on this page and return here with a suggestion for the series name. Ideally, it should mention both Hugh and Elara somehow and nod at the genre of Urban Fantasy. For example, The Iron Dogs was rejected because it doesn’t indicate Elara. The Witch and the Warlord was rejected because Elara isn’t exactly and witch and the series name is too fantasy.
So please leave your suggestions in the comments. If you like the suggestion someone made, please reply to it with +1 so we’ll know which suggestions are popular.
The contest will last until Wednesday 04/04/2018, and the winner will receive a signed copy of IRON AND MAGIC and will be mentioned in Acknowledgements for bragging rights. They can also choose to read an advance copy, but we are not doing paper for those, so it would be an ebook.
Happy April Fool’s Day!
Texas has treated us to a classic thunderstorm today with lightning, thunder, and sheets of rain, so I am waiting another half an hour before braving the office, because I don’t know where the umbrella is and I don’t want to get soaked. So some answers to the questions.
First things first: for those of you on iPad, are you seeing the weird menu issue in the sideways view. If so please comment, so I know it’s not an isolated occurrence.
Industry question. How do you get inspiration for a fight scene?
Fight scene mechanics are similar to sex scene mechanics: unless you add emotion, both will be flat. The most important part is getting the emotional undercurrent correctly. The reader should feel in danger. They should hold their breath and hope to dodge a fatal strike. That’s why Richard Mar was such a pain to write. The character was written as extremely precise and during most of his fights, he would be cool as a cucumber.
To infuse the fight with emotion, you really have to pull the character apart and show exactly what they are thinking. If you look at Maud’s fight, she is progressively getting more and more ruthless because things keep getting more and more desperate, to the point of kicking a pitcher at a woman whom she desperately hoped to impress. The shattered pitcher is kind of a high point there, because things are so bad, we’re expecting something to break.
That said, this is analysis post-writing. During the writing, there is no conscious process of “Put this in, it’s important.” We kind of put ourselves into Maud’s shoes or Hugh’s shoes or whoever’s shoes and try to survive. I do have to say, the arm breaking move took a while. It’s an escrima move called pangilog and at some point Gordon and I did it to each other a few times, because it wasn’t clear how much pressure it would put on the shoulder and would a shoulder pop before hyperextending the elbow.
Are y’all still considering going to DragonCon?
We are, but it is a long process. You have to fill out an application and then you may or may not get approved.
If not already asked: what are the optimal dimensions for a moat? Respectfully, member BDH
Hugh is building a big ass moat and lining it with Roman concrete. It is costing a ton of money, but supposedly it will all be worth it. 😉
Industry-ish question: I’m writing my book, but I struggle with conversation and witty banter. It all comes out super flat and fake sounding. Nothing feels realistic and I just feel like I’m missing something. How do you make your character interactions and conversations in your books seem so entertaining and yet real at the same time. I’m sure practice is involved, so I don’t expect an easy fix, but any insight you have would help. I’m thinking of taking a creative writing class at my local cc to help me improve, but until I can gather those funds, I’m still staring at my seemingly unnecessary conversations in absolute disgust.
Sherre, you are thinking too much. Crack yourself up with the dialogue. Seriously, write to amuse yourself. Don’t worry about being clever or not, just write until you snicker. Sometimes a good joke takes awhile, so if you are stuck, walk away and do the dishes. Your mind will come up with a witty comeback.
For us, we’ve had a lot of practice and both of us are naturally caustic. Also, if you put either one of us on the spot, we will absolutely fold. I just asked Gordon how does he write witty dialogue, and he said, “I don’t know.”
Well, I am going to go and check to see if the rain let up. We have battling to write.
I’m so pleased with this image, I can’t even tell you. Hehe, compote and cookies.